Emergent Nomenclature

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Today at our Detroit area Emergent Cohort we shared some anxiousness about the dire state of the world economy, our shrinking churches, and the most recent local political scandals. Then, to take the edge off, my friend Mike and I started to riff on the common practice of naming emergent groups.

It seems that as Christians all across the spectrum of denomination and theology engage with this particular "awakening" within the church they want to claim a part of it and attach to it. So they come up with a new name that says where they come from and states where they might be headed.

For all the good intention and earnest desire to bring our denominations along for the ride, some of these names end up sounding quite funny. I think God likes that though. I mean, after all, God is the creator who's crowning achievement was a lump of dirt animated by a sneeze.

So, below are some ridiculous hybrids of "emergent" and various church names. I hope they give you a moment of lightness, perhaps a playful moment of hope for the people of your own heritage. If you'd like to contribute to this loving farce, please email or drop comments online of your own ideas for even more funny names of emergent denominational nomenclature! They might just make it on the t-shirt.

Church + Emergent =
EMERGODIST (Methodist)
NON-DENOMINERGENT (Non-Denominational)
LUMERGERAN (Lutheran)
PENTERGENT (Pentecostal)
MEGA CHERGENT (Mega Church)
C.O.G.I.RGENT (Church of God In Christ)
THE RELIGIOUS SOCIETY OF FREMERGIENDS (Quaker)
PRESMERGARIANT (Presbytarian)
WILLOWGENT (Willow Creek Association)
GREEMERK GEORTHODOX (Greek Orthodox)

[ecumenical section]
EMERGENTOLOGY (Scientology)
MORMERGENT (Church of Jesus Christ and Latter Day Saints)
BEMERGHÁ'I (Bahá'i)
JEWERGISH (Judaism)
UNITARIAN UNIMERGENTIST (Unitarian Universalist)

Carl
carl(at)carlthomasgladstone.com

PS If any of these are actual names of any actual emergent groups, let me just say, that I think you are awesome and am glad you thought up your name before I did!

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